By Staff Reporter
news@alexreporter.co.za
In March 2010, Maphanga’s partner doused her and their two-year-old daughter, Keamogetswe, with petrol, set them alight and left them for dead in a room at their home.
This, she says was sparked by an argument from the previous night when her partner, whom she refers to as Mr X, insisted that they leave a friend’s party which they had been attending. When she suggested that they stay longer, their argument quickly turned physical, but friends came to her rescue.
“[The next day at their home] he called me into our room asking that we talk. He seemed remorseful and he suggested that we separate so he could work on himself. As I went into our bedroom, our child followed us in. He locked the door behind her and then started pacing around the room frantically,” she said.
“Moments later I saw him reaching out for a 5-litre bottle of petrol and he poured it all over me and our daughter. He then reached for a box of matches from one corner of the room. I then realised that yesterday’s fight was continuing.
“As we wrestled over the box of matches I begged him not to ignite it. I begged him with my life. He overpowered me and the next thing I knew, I was on fire. My entire body, the braids I was wearing, were burning. My child and everything in the room was in flames and he had jumped out of the window.”
In excruciating pain, the then 33-year-old woke up at a hospital in Centurion after nearly five months of being in an induced comma as she had sustained third-degree burns to the face, arms, chest, thighs and legs.
As a result, she could not walk or use her hands. She had also lost her right ear lobe and her vision was affected.
While she was dealing with the physical pain of her wounds and shock of having a different face, the worst was not yet over. She was informed that her daughter had died two days after the incident and had been buried.
“I went into shock. My lungs gave in and I had to be put on life support again for another month. I had to deal with so much loss. I had lost my daughter. I had to deal with the changes to face and body. I had to deal with so many changes, it was so hard,” she recalled.
“I did not want to live anymore.”
But like the allegory of the great Phoenix rising from its ashes, Maphanga gathered strength to fight for her life, after she dreamt of her daughter visiting her in hospital and giving her a smile validating the strength she had to survive.
“That is when I knew I had to do it for her. I had to fight for my life. She became my motivation to want to get better every day,” she said.
“I had renewed hope. I was eager to walk again and start doing the things I used to. I could not wait to go to a mall and just walk. I had a new purpose and that would be to use my story to help others.”
While looks in the mirror were no longer the same, she constantly spoke words of reaffirmation to herself reminding her of her worthiness and her strength.
“I did nothing wrong. I didn’t inflict these scars on myself. I had to tell myself that and accept my reality. It was not easy, but I had to do it for myself,” said.
Maphanga recalled the liberating feeling she had when she was discharged after nearly a year of hospital, rehabilitation and counselling – she could finally walk and use her hands again and her vision had improved.
Unshaken by people’s stares, her first trip was to local KCF for some ice cream.
“I remember I wore my mini skirt showing off my burnt thighs, and when I stepped out of the vehicle and got my first breath of the fresh air, it felt good. It felt like a rebirth,” she said.
“The stares didn’t bother me. I had done so much work on myself. There was that feeling of relief that I made it through, that I made it out of that [hospital] bed and I have never looked back since.”
Twelve years into her healing, she continues to share her story on social media and various other platforms where she found that there are many others like her who were burn victims and had suffered GBV.
This prompted her to start and register her nonprofit organisation Burn Survivor SA this year, offering group counselling and support.
“I found that during my initial stages of healing it was difficult to find support groups for burn survivors, which is really what I longed for.”
She said she realised the healing was a journey with no destination and she would get empowered by interacting with other GBV victims.
She is proud of the progress she has made.
“My scars have become my brand. Sometimes I even forget I have scars and I would be reminded by people staring at me.”
A portrait of her daughter hangs in the living room, an area Maphanga uses to recharge when she is feeling low.
In 2011 Mr X was sentenced to 10 years for culpable homicide, five of which were suspended. A sentence that shocked Maphanga, who questioned why he had not faced charges of murder and attempted murder.
“He killed our child and he tried to kill me, he burnt our home too, that cannot be culpable homicide,” she said, adding that the justice system had let her down.
“In 2016 I heard that he had been released and was back in the area. I had moved from the house where we stayed, but it unsettled me that he was around and I was not notified of his release.”
Two years after his release, Mr X was found dead from what is a suspected suicide.
“He took the easy way out. He should have lived to face what he has done,” Maphanga said.
She said while she still believed in love and had tried dating, she was more cautious of any signs of abuse she picked up from potential partners.
“The signs were always there, but I made excuses for him. Now I know the signs, and when I see them I do not stay,” she said.
“I am open to love. I believe I will find someone who loves me without trying to hide me. I am a queen and I want to be loved as such. Until I find that person, I will remain single.”