By Jonk wa Mashamba
Like every other parent, Tintswalo Cristina Makasane-Hlongwane
was over the moon when she gave birth to a baby girl.
And she had high hopes that her premature daughter, born on March 18, 2019, would survive after being admitted to the intensive care unit (ICU) in Tzaneen Medi-Clinic because of complications.
She says that the stress and complications of the pregnancy, she endured were also caused by some family members.
“My daughter stayed for two months in the clinic. I couldn’t sleep because there had been always complications and my husband and I had to travel everyday to the hospital and we were staying far from Tzaneen,” said Tintswalo.
During the ordeal, Tintswalo said that she and her husband had no support from anyone else.
She indicated that during her child’s stay at the hospital, she became depressed.
“One day she was discharged and we were happy. We couldn’t sleep looking at her bravery.”
However, that was the beginning of more worries for her.
“My daughter was always in and out of the hospital.
“One week after turning a year on the 11 April 2020, my world collapsed; our beautiful princess died from a short illness.
“I felt like the world could open and swallow me. I couldn’t understand why she would survive for two and half months in ICU and died from that short illness.”
“Losing a child is like having every chapter of your life torn and shredded.”
She said that because she was suffering from depression and grief, she felt the pain was too unbearable.
“I took a pen and paper and wrote my pain on it. The title of the book ‘Deeper Than Pain’ is because losing a child, it’s a pain that can’t be compared with anything… the pain is deeper.”
She says the book talks about her sadness and how she lived every day without her baby Angel, how her death has changed her.
“I used my pen and paper to write my pain, and then I decided to make it a book because I know there are a lot of women who go through what I went through, they don’t know how to deal with it.
“This book may not erase their scar of losing a child, but it will definitely help them deal with the pain. The book it’s a collection of poetry and it was published by MFH (Mathebe Family Holdings).”
Tintwalo’s husband was very supportive, because some days she would be quiet, lashing out and being emotional “but he didn’t give up on me. He is the one who even encouraged me to write whenever I felt down.
“Through my depression and grief he was there holding my hand and reminding me that it was our pain together,” she said.
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Facebook: Tintswalo Christina Makasane-Hlongwane
Instagram: @ tintswalochristinahlongwane